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I Am The Shit (When I'm On Stage)

from Yes, I'm A Ho! by Wendy Ho

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lyrics

i am the shit i am the feces
when i’m on stage
i am the shit i am the feces
when i’m on stage

yo! last name ho but no i ain’t asian
totally appropriate for any occasion
any boujey party full of savoir faire
i let them eat cake while i let down my hair

i sing my songs, i tell my troof
leave a gift in yo pool, look like a baby roof
i’m a healer: bring your lame and crippled
bring me homosexuals, my album sales triple

“beware of the ho!” don’t rattle my cage
bite the head off a dildo thrown on my stage
read me my rights, frisk me, cuff me
oh you didn’t hear when i asked y’all to “fuck me”?

i’m rollin solo, not the fifth fuckin beatle
gettin drunk, my alcohol syndrome is fetal
dats rite you staring at da main attracion
i am bubbles, you just michael jackson

i am the shit i am the feces
when i’m on stage
i am the shit i am the feces
when i’m on stage

i’m the qween of the queens, ginuwine like a pony
tough on the children, tender as a roni
raised on slurpees, cow, and corn
i’m agnetha, frida, benny and bjorn

not for the frail, the weak, the fainthearted
a man came in mensa and walked out retarded
also made a crazy bitch go sane
yo you catch my performance on the soul train?

sang a new song called “eat my pussy, lord”
got yanked off the stage, but the ratings soared
now i’m “the qween of poop,” “the divine miss ho”
but i’m a star for ONE reason: my pussy gots flow!

you can judge and try to deny
butcha bettah look out! you get skeet in yo eye
and that shit stings oh and that shit burns
but sometimes the hard way the only way you learns

i am the shit i am the feces
when i’m on stage
i am the shit i am the feces
when i’m on stage

yo you feel that rumble? put your head to the ground
you gotta squint your ears to hear the fuckin sound
i’m coming like a japanese bullet train
first i burrow in your ear then i burrow in your brain!

cuz when i’m on tour i be strokin balls
addressing my flock: biggie fries, biggie smalls
ya’ll want an encore? hold on ladies
gotta run backstage to suck off slim shady

sometimes i needs a little hydration
make it back in time for my standing ovation
accept all your flowers and take my bows
thank god i’m a ho not holier than thou

a white trash girl gone ghetto superstar
my pussy been stretched wide and far
making non believers say “yo, she is risen”
cuz when i’m on parole you be safer in prison

credits

from Yes, I'm A Ho!, released October 11, 2010

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Wendy Ho image

Wendy Ho Los Angeles, California

Ho is an artist.  Ho is a state of mind.  Ho redefines women in music with true liberation.  She is funny and sexy.  A self- possessed, self-assured mashup of street and trash who makes you laugh while she makes you think.  The responses she evokes from audiences are as diverse as her roots, but at the core there is no question about who she is.  Wendy is all woman.  All Ho. ... more

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