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Shake It Out The Leg

from Yes, I'm A Ho! by Wendy Ho

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lyrics

ho: man, subsitute teaching is hard... shideeda don’t run so fast!
teacher friend: no doubt wendy.
ho: def not what i had planned but times is tough... malcom-jamal, give seeja her ball back! well,hello nicotina. what’s wrong, honey?
kid: ms. ho, i made doodoo.
ho: awwww. you know when i shit in my pants... i just shake it out the leg...

shake it out the leg
shake it out the leg
when i shit in my pants
i just shake it out the leg

kid: miss ho tell us about the first time it happened...
miss ho: sure, i’d be glad to!

gather round kids let me tell you a tale
one that always stinks without fail
it’s not about the keebler troop
it’s about “shit elves”: they assemble your poop!

so once upon a time they workin hard overnight
tryin to wake me up but i be puttin up a fight
but dey fought back! dey wuz kickin my liver
lil fuckers tryina give me the doody shivers!

trying to hold it in, i need my beauty sleep
and my sheets never needin a giant doody heap
oh man, my ass was turtling
what’s the smell? f-f-fresh milk curdling

but got lucky passed out in my clothes
and was wearing bellbottoms not pantyhose
so i just stayed in bed
cuz when i shit in my pants i just shake it out the leg

shake it out the leg
shake it out the leg
when i shit in my pants
i just shake it out the leg

kids: tell us more, ms. ho!
ho: sure, lemme think.. hmmm... oh yeah!

another time went out for mexican
was about to make a mess again
just call me diarrhea pearlman
not a lady, i’m a motherfuckin girl, man!

wasn’t gonna make it to the toilet
said “give me the floor, i think i’m gonna soil it”
waiter yellin “oh, please god save us!”
better call in ann b. davis

donde esta el quarto de bahno???
was bloated like a young jerry o’connell
lady lump BETWEEN the cheeks
my ass has lips: yo i seen it speak

bangin on the door some bitchz taking forever
bout to get an ax but then i remembered
i can chill even smellin like an egg
cuz when i shit in my pants i just shake it out the leg

shake it out the leg
shake it out the leg
when i shit in my pants
i just shake it out the leg

kids: go ms. ho, go ms, ho! one more!
ho: ok, i went camping...

upstate, playing black jack with black jerry
makin chili by any beans necessary
don’t need cards to be playin craps
if my plumber was there he’d be playin taps!

i don’t need tp i need paper towels
wish i ate at mcdonalds or even mcdowells
“bowelful” of chili almost filling my jeans
damn muthafucka... i need the latrines!

but there was no toilet in sight
ain’t a pope or a bear so i held my ass tight
got lost but i left my own trail
don’t smell it? it’s cool, i can feel it in braille

all i needed was a bucket
or a pool or a pond but then i said fuck it
when i’m a pirate it runs down my peg
but when i shit in my pants i just shake it out the leg

shake it out the leg
shake it out the leg
when i shit in my pants
i just shake it out the leg

credits

from Yes, I'm A Ho!, released October 11, 2010

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Wendy Ho image

Wendy Ho Los Angeles, California

Ho is an artist.  Ho is a state of mind.  Ho redefines women in music with true liberation.  She is funny and sexy.  A self- possessed, self-assured mashup of street and trash who makes you laugh while she makes you think.  The responses she evokes from audiences are as diverse as her roots, but at the core there is no question about who she is.  Wendy is all woman.  All Ho. ... more

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